Divorce is a word that has many negative connotations. Most of us think of conflict, instability, and a lack of sense of security. For Willow Oleson ’23, she thinks of it as something that has allowed her and her sisters to have a better bond.

Oleson’s parents divorced before she entered kindergarten. She reacted to it in a way that was different from her older sisters, Alexa Oleson ’16 and Eva Oleson ’21, which is what allowed them to open up to one another and create a stronger bond.

“I am much older than Willow and Eva, so the divorce affected me differently, which pushed us farther apart at first,” Alexa explains. “Now that we are all older we have been brought closer by the problems of our family.”

Towards the end of high school, Alexa eventually moved to her father’s house permanently and stopped going to her mother’s house often. Willow began to see her less and less, which was hard for her, but it was also what encouraged her to reach out to her sister more and develop a better relationship.

“As I saw Alexa less we started talking more,” Willow said. “[Our relationship has] improved in ways like we now talk a lot more and see each other a lot more and get along a lot better.”

Even though Willow grew up with separated parents, there are still many things that she has to get used to, such as knowing how much to tell the other parent.

“It can get to a point where I don’t know what I can tell to them about what happened at the other house, because I don’t know how they’ll react,” Willow said. “So some things I just have to keep to myself and my sisters and talk about it with them. [They’re] the only people I really talk to, so that can be tough.”

Through different stages of the divorce, Willow and her sisters began speaking more and more and they eventually became very close through sharing similar thoughts about their situation.

“I think that [our relationship] really improved through more communication and getting along better and seeing how we are alike and using that to form better conversations,” Willow said.

The sisters believe in the concept that communication is key, as they make it a priority to speak with one another about their feelings and struggles as a result of the divorce.

“Since Willow got a new phone we all have a group chat together,” Alexa said. “Now that Eva and Willow are older we talk about this divorce/our family more, which brings us closer.”

Willow believes that although the divorce had many negative effects, such as separating her family, it is the sole element that caused her and her sisters to develop a better relationship that she loves and cherishes.

“[My sisters] could ignore me and never talk to me, but they choose to accept me and talk to me and be nice to me,” Willow said. “I always like having someone I know I can talk to and trust and to watch my back. I’m so happy that I can trust them and that they care about me. We’ve been through a lot together and I am so thankful that I got them for siblings because not everybody is that lucky.”